How To Choose A Sex Toy – The Specifics

Following my previous how to choose a sex toy post, which covered the basics, I thought I’d offer a bit more information on some of the options available. Hopefully it’ll help you find something you love.

1.) Know Your Options

A tried and true traditional style vibrator can be good, helping you achieve an orgasm by yourself or with a partner, just keep in mind that many of them usually don’t offer a variety of settings, instead being rather basic. Aside from that they don’t offer much by way of G-spot stimulation since they have a straight shaft with minimal textures. Of course you could very easily hold it against the clitoris for clitoral stimulation, though with all the other amazing products specifically designed for that purpose it seems like a bit of a waste.

On that note, if you like the feeling of vibrations on your clitoris you might want to look at a bullet or vibrating egg, something that cuddles the clit, a vibrator designed to be worn or a “pocket rocket“. Most of these will be smaller in design than a product that’s meant to be inserted and usually come in a variety of vibration options. On top of being easy to use they’re discreet, not very intimidating, affordable (many are available for under $20) and travel rather well.

If you enjoy penetration or the feeling of having something inside you a dildo might be a good choice. Some like the Lelo Ella, Tantus G-Spot Vibe, Bent Graduate or Fun Factory Bandito have lovely curved bodies for G-Spot stimulation, while others like the T-Rex offer a very girthy shaft for those that like a ‘fuller’ feeling. If you want a dildo that provides various sensory options like a cool or warm effect a glass dildo might be a good choice. Maybe you’re new to anal play and want a small butt plug to help you get comfortable with the idea, if so Vixen Creations Buddy and/or Tristan would be great.

When it comes to the guys looking to last longer or even have stronger orgasms and/or ejaculations there’s quite a few decent cock rings on the market to choose from. Maybe you’ve always wanted to add a little extra girth or length to your penis, if so an extension or penis sleeve could help. If prostate stimulation is more your thing a product specifically designed for p-spot play would be better suited to your needs.

2.) What Do You Want It To Do?

When making this decision you want to think about the type of stimulation you want, light and indirect, moderate and direct, deep and rumbly, surface level buzzy, heavy and deeply penetrating etc.

For some the clitoris is a very sensitive body part that becomes uncomfortable when deeply penetrating vibrations are applied to, if so you’d definitely want to skip the Hitachi Magic Wand and instead look at the Eroscillator (it’s far gentler yet highly coveted). Perhaps you get easily bored by a steady vibration and instead need a variety of options that include pulsations, escalations, thrusting action or independent controls allowing you to stimulate different areas in different ways simultaneously (if so, there’s many dual vibes that will offer the control you’d like).

On that note, you also might want to also think about whether you want a product with a lot of buttons, something that’s operated by one button, has an easy off function (turns off with one quick press) or has a dial to adjust the speeds/settings. Very often this is something that’s overlooked until you’re spread eagle on the bed, product inserted, only to realize that operating it is far from comfortable or easy.

If vibrations aren’t your thing, and you find that you like various types of pressure on the g-spot, a sex toy that rotates or offers internal beads like the ones Vibratex creates might be more your style. When it comes to the variety of sensations different textures can offer there’s a lot to choose from be it rippled, studded, ribbed, swirly, or smooth.

Regardless of what it is you’re looking for I’m sure there’s a product on the market that can do it.

3.) Style

If you’ve ever been in a sex toy store or browsed the selection of an online shop you’d know that the market is flooded with products in various shapes, sizes, colors and styles making the decision making process that little bit harder. As such, the next question you should ask yourself is: what you want your toy to look like?

Here’s where you get to have some fun and let your imagination go wild. Do you want a product that’s baby blue, has a bunch of vibration settings and offers some great clitoral stimulation? No problem, here ya go! Would you prefer a dildo in a dark shade of purple, made of high quality silicone that’s great for g-spot play? Done and done! Metallic gold more your style? Perhaps the entire rainbow? Done and done.

Maybe you’ve always had a thing for Cyborg, Frankenstein or Vampire sex toys, don’t worry Fleshlights got you covered… and when it comes to dragons or werewolves, look no further than Bad Dragon. Want something a little more Jesus-y? Divine Interventions is where it’s at! No matter the color or specifics there will likely be a product that matches perfectly. 

On the flip side there are those that find anything other than a penis totally off putting, as such there are several available in the “ultra-realistic” category that look pretty close to a real penis. They’re often formed from a cast taken of a real penis, colored to look like a penis, and include all the veins and ridges a real penis would have. While you’ll rarely find good versions made of glass or metal, you’ll come across quite a few made from silicone or other ‘realistic’ feeling materials like Cyberskin or UR3… if you ask my opinion Vixen Creations has done a damn good job creating dildos that are esthetically pleasing and ‘real’ feeling.

For The “Male” Bodied

Unfortunately men have been “left out” when it comes to sex toys, but this seems to be changing. Sure, penis pumps and cock rings have been on the market since the beginning, but for a long time that was about it.

Thankfully with an increase in demand and a curiosity of their own, men can now enjoy sleeves(to enhance masturbation), oral sex simulators (designed to poorly mimic blowjobs), ticklers(which slip over the penis to potentially heighten pleasure for the user and their partner), pocket pussies (usually much cheaper than Fleshlights in every way), and blow up dolls (because having sex with a bouncy castle is harder than it seems).

If you’re not sure what you’d like, there are a few websites online dedicated to helping you find the best fake pussy toys, or you can check out my masturbator reviews to hear my thoughts on everything from Tenga Eggs to basic strokers. Though I have to admit, my penis envy belongs to Fleshlight… the products they create are the absolute best of the best!

4.) Materials

As previously mentioned, the adult novelty industry doesn’t have a “quality control board” to approve or deny the manufacture of products, as such many contain very harmful chemicals like phthalates which can reek havoc on both your body and the environment. If there is one suggestion that I advise you take into great consideration, its the material your toy is made out of.

Fortunately, with the rise in consumer awareness more and more companies are opting to make toys out of materials that are not only a little easier on the environment, but also a better option for use in regard to your body.

Aside from the basic health concerns, it is also important to know that different materials perform differently. Some like glass or metal may be easily chilled or warm up to aide in sensory play, while others may allow a harder/softer surface area for stimulation.

It’s also important to keep in mind that some may not be good for use with certain types of lubricants: you don’t want to use a silicone lube with a silicone toy as it will likely eat away at the surface with time. Oil products don’t do well with Fleshlights and will likely ruin them. My suggestion, when in doubt choose a good water based lube.

Basically put, each material has different characteristics and requirements when it comes to keeping it clean and lasting for a while, so before you make your decision take the time to investigate the varieties and see what would work best for you and your lifestyle.

When All Else Fails

At the end of the day I know how hard choosing a sex toy can be, especially if you really don't know what you want. When it comes to those situations, I've got a solution; rather than forking out a bunch of cash for one specific item, opt to buy a few at lower prices so that you can experiment and see what works for you. Then, once you know what you like, save up and splurge on a big ticket item that you know you’ll love.

Hopefully by following this list of suggestions you'll not only be able to find a toy that's right for you, but one that will last for years and offer many hours of enjoyment!